Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
