I wannas sexs uuuuu
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
