dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
