My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
