I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
