she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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