I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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