Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
