I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
