btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
