Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
