He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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