i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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