Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
