yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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