I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
