Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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