Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
