If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
