You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
