I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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