hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
