we're blogging at a bar
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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