No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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