theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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