Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
