i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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