Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Panties = found
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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