just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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