I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
