Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
