Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
