im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
