I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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