I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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