If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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