He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
