do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Farmville is her only friend.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
