She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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