What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
