Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
