You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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