I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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