She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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