Whod you bang
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Mom said you looked used
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize