i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
