The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
