So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
its liver damage thursday
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
