I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
