Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
dude. I can hear the air.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
