I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
