i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
