I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I've blown a few things in my day
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
